Well, as part of every Monday morning I get on the scale. It has been exactly two weeks since I started my new lifestyle... and .... I have lost Five Pounds! I am pretty excited. I feel great, thinner, and healthier. I am glad that I got such a great number this morning because it was a really rough weekend.
First of all, I still have not gotten into an exercise routine. I have been walking more, but I haven't been running or lifting weights or starting any kind of program. Hopefully this first 5 lb loss will get me motivated. I really want to start running and then get into more toning. This is the week! I can do it!
Secondly, I have figured out that I need to have a little bit of a "cheat" day to eat some sort of carbohydrates or I will turn into a raving lunatic. Just a little bit of bread or pasta or something once a week makes me feel 100% healthier. Last night I ate a french bread pizza. It was so delicious and I just needed to get some carbs. I don't think that at this point I am ready to splurge and eat anything sugary, but I need to eat some bread sometimes. The last two weeks I have only had carbs and sugars from vegetables and the occasional grapefruit. Oh- and I drank a couple of glasses of wine- but didn't over due it. But that pizza last night made me feel great. Next weekend I will eat something like that again. I need to learn how to live after all, while losing weight!
I had a really great evening with my Mom on Saturday too. We talked a lot about our eating habits and what works for us. She does the Weight Watchers plan. She really enjoys the meetings and sharing her successes and failures. I guess that is sort of what I am doing with this blog! I am super proud of how my Mom is learning to change and grow. I think while we were little she didn't really have the time to learn about herself, but now that my sisters and I are older she has gotten a chance to know herself... I think that is great and will definitely lead to her own healthy eating and lifestyle.
Not motivating at all was my first time ever trying on wedding dresses. We really went for my sister Bonnie who is getting married in November, however I had an appt. too- more for fun than anything else-
I tried on my first dress ever. It is one of those moments you look forward to as a little girl. It was pretty, not "the one" or anything, I came out and stood on the platform in front of the mirrors. I could tell by my Mom's face it wasn't her favorite. And then a member of my family-not my immediate-told me the dress made me look "thick." I felt like I had been punched right in the face. It really hurt my feelings and ruined the whole day for me. It was sort of my worst nightmare that started this blog in the first place. And it came true. I just have to move on from this, I know. But it made me seriously look at eloping. Being in front of all those people looking fat, well I just don't think I can have a wedding if I don't lose the weight. It isn't just about looking fat. It's about people thinking I have too much make up on, or that my bridesmaid dresses are ugly, or that the food is bad, or that the location is wrong. I just don't know if my skin is thick enough for a wedding. It's strange, because I don't really think that I am a sensitive person. But knowing that you have put yourself in the position for everyone to judge you - being a bride - is not something I necessarily feel comfortable with. I suppose I have more to work on then just my weight. Maybe it is how I view myself...
Monday, April 19, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Ugh. This sucks!
Dieting Sucks. Not b/c I want to eat, but because I have yet to lose any weight. Nothing is more motivating than real numbers on the scale. I think it may be because of a certain monthly visitor, but I am just wondering if this is just one of many lies that women like to tell themselves about weight gain...
Here are some other favorites that I have used as an excuse:
a. Birth Control Pills Make me Fat (fill in any other medication here)
b. My metabolism is just slower (may be true... but if I am eating more... how do I know?)
c. I don't have skinny "genes" (Even if my Mom did pass down her love of peanut butter cups, I have been skinny and so has she... sooo not very logical)
d. Maybe I have a thyroid disorder? (or maybe I haven't exercised in 6 months)
e. I am big-boned (um, my engagement ring is a size 5 and a half. Enough Said.)
f. Red wine is good for you (so is white... margaritas....beer... martinis... are you going to drink that?)
g. I cannot do a lower carb diet because of my love of fruit (starburst, swedish fish, these are fruit right?)
h. I am too busy to exercise (our president fits in a jog here and there... so really?)
Here are some other favorites that I have used as an excuse:
a. Birth Control Pills Make me Fat (fill in any other medication here)
b. My metabolism is just slower (may be true... but if I am eating more... how do I know?)
c. I don't have skinny "genes" (Even if my Mom did pass down her love of peanut butter cups, I have been skinny and so has she... sooo not very logical)
d. Maybe I have a thyroid disorder? (or maybe I haven't exercised in 6 months)
e. I am big-boned (um, my engagement ring is a size 5 and a half. Enough Said.)
f. Red wine is good for you (so is white... margaritas....beer... martinis... are you going to drink that?)
g. I cannot do a lower carb diet because of my love of fruit (starburst, swedish fish, these are fruit right?)
h. I am too busy to exercise (our president fits in a jog here and there... so really?)
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Diet.... check! Excercise.... um... what?
So my diet is going great half way through day 3. I know that I will have a couple of drinks this evening as I am heading to happy hour with my girls... but I have cut my wine consumption way down and I have been eating super healthy. It is not as if I drink and get drunk all of the time. I just like to have a glass of wine or two at the end of the day while I am cooking dinner. But those glasses will have to be put to the side for a while... oh how I will miss them.
I am following The South Beach Diet. I am not here to say it is the best diet. I have lost weight on this plan before, and I am counting on it again. To be completely honest, I think that all of these diets are a bit of a rip-off. There isn't a real secret to losing weight. You just need to eat healthy and exercise. Now, I am surely not saying that this is easy... just saying that the consumer machine is making billions off of our need and want to lose weight... to try and make it easy. 100 calorie snacks-prepackaged meals-shakes-sugar free-fat free-pills- it can be dizzying. The best information that I have learned about food has been from Dr. Andrew Weil's "Eating for Optimum Health." His web-site is www.drweil.com and it is full of great information.
We need to get back to the garden. When I was growing up we planted our vegetables and ate them all summer. We need to go back to the farm. We don't need pesticides, hormones, and these factories of meat, vegetables and the like producing our food. Our food is so full of preservatives, who even knows what we are eating these days.
I am not someone who gained weight eating McDonald's and candy bars. Although everyone enjoys these convenient foods now and then, I really love both Southern and French cooking. I like my own fried chicken, pizza, fish, steak... southern yumminess. What is Southern Cooking without bacon? Fried Food? Butter? I like just about every fish, chicken, vegetable. My basic eating habits are not so bad, I just eat too much of it and prepare it with too much fat. I love steamed mussels, which are not so bad... but a big crusty loaf of french bread goes so well with them. If I were to spend money on a diet plan, it would be "fit for foodies." I am from the school that if you want ice cream, and you eat "fat-free 100 calorie frozen sort of yogurt" you are going to finish that and think, "wow, I really want some ice cream." So I need to learn moderation. A crust of that beautiful bread... not a loaf.
So, right now I am just trying to get all of that sugar, all of those preservatives, all of that WINE out of my body. I am sticking to vegetables and lean protein and things are going great. Once I get back on the eating right track I will indulge a little more in those things that I started to enjoy a little too much. But for right now, I am on the straight and narrow.
And then there is... exercise. I need to do it. A lot of it. I am super active. I take the bus to work most days and get off at the stop at the bottom of the hill vs. next door. I live on the 4th floor of a building with no elevator. I walk my dog all the time. We live in the middle of DC, I cannot really just open the door and let her roam. City Living is ACTIVE. But it is not enough for me. Maybe for those blessed with skinny genes... but not for me. I need to run, lift weights, do yoga, pilates and PRAY that it will work. It is just how things are. So, God help me. It is time to get back on track.
What is your favorite excercise? I have always been a runner, but I find myself unnaturally huffing and puffing and it is so hard. I just need to, well, start.
I am following The South Beach Diet. I am not here to say it is the best diet. I have lost weight on this plan before, and I am counting on it again. To be completely honest, I think that all of these diets are a bit of a rip-off. There isn't a real secret to losing weight. You just need to eat healthy and exercise. Now, I am surely not saying that this is easy... just saying that the consumer machine is making billions off of our need and want to lose weight... to try and make it easy. 100 calorie snacks-prepackaged meals-shakes-sugar free-fat free-pills- it can be dizzying. The best information that I have learned about food has been from Dr. Andrew Weil's "Eating for Optimum Health." His web-site is www.drweil.com and it is full of great information.
We need to get back to the garden. When I was growing up we planted our vegetables and ate them all summer. We need to go back to the farm. We don't need pesticides, hormones, and these factories of meat, vegetables and the like producing our food. Our food is so full of preservatives, who even knows what we are eating these days.
I am not someone who gained weight eating McDonald's and candy bars. Although everyone enjoys these convenient foods now and then, I really love both Southern and French cooking. I like my own fried chicken, pizza, fish, steak... southern yumminess. What is Southern Cooking without bacon? Fried Food? Butter? I like just about every fish, chicken, vegetable. My basic eating habits are not so bad, I just eat too much of it and prepare it with too much fat. I love steamed mussels, which are not so bad... but a big crusty loaf of french bread goes so well with them. If I were to spend money on a diet plan, it would be "fit for foodies." I am from the school that if you want ice cream, and you eat "fat-free 100 calorie frozen sort of yogurt" you are going to finish that and think, "wow, I really want some ice cream." So I need to learn moderation. A crust of that beautiful bread... not a loaf.
So, right now I am just trying to get all of that sugar, all of those preservatives, all of that WINE out of my body. I am sticking to vegetables and lean protein and things are going great. Once I get back on the eating right track I will indulge a little more in those things that I started to enjoy a little too much. But for right now, I am on the straight and narrow.
And then there is... exercise. I need to do it. A lot of it. I am super active. I take the bus to work most days and get off at the stop at the bottom of the hill vs. next door. I live on the 4th floor of a building with no elevator. I walk my dog all the time. We live in the middle of DC, I cannot really just open the door and let her roam. City Living is ACTIVE. But it is not enough for me. Maybe for those blessed with skinny genes... but not for me. I need to run, lift weights, do yoga, pilates and PRAY that it will work. It is just how things are. So, God help me. It is time to get back on track.
What is your favorite excercise? I have always been a runner, but I find myself unnaturally huffing and puffing and it is so hard. I just need to, well, start.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Welcome to Skinnyonce!
I never figured that I would be a blogger. Being single, child-free, and generally boring- what do I have to write about? Well, I have decided to write about how I was skinny once, and hope to be again.
About two weeks ago I became engaged. I bought a bridal magazine. I thought about how I would look in all of those gorgeous dresses and wanted to cry. I thought about how the "skinny once" would have looked in them... ugh.
I have been on the more normal or thin side most of my life. We could debate which is worse- to battle a life long battle with your weight, or suddenly realize that your friends and family are staring at your ass and thinking, "where did THAT come from?" I think that my noticeable weight gain is in direct relation to my engagement. Ryan absolutely loves and adores me no matter what weight I am. He has never made one comment about my weight, and when I start to whine about it, he seriously acts like he has no idea what I am talking about. Seriously! That is a reason I am going to marry him. I don't think that I have ever experienced that kind of love from a man- not sure I know what to do with it- besides get fatter and fatter.
The ring that Ryan proposed with is 140 years old. It was slightly too small, but I couldn't even get it on my finger because I had eaten chips, salsa, queso, fajitas and margaritas WITH salt the night before. Ry and I went out for a bite of food with his Mexican friend, Oliver. I guess this meant I needed to eat my own weight in fried, salty, delicious, food. "Skinnyonce Carrie" would not have gone this far. I would have pushed the chips away after a few bites- I would have stopped after the first margarita-I would have had just one fajita-I would have skipped the tortillas-and if I had eaten or drank a little too much, I would have been in the gym for hours to make up for it.
Once we became engaged, Ry and I drank a bottle of champagne and made a delicious dinner. Filet Mignon, brussel sprouts (with lots of bacon), potatoes and ice cream. I really know how to celebrate. And with all the amazing things that have gone on in my life I have learned how to indulge and celebrate and celebrate and celebrate. I am currently carrying around 40 lbs. of celebration right now. I guess I should be happy that I eat too much when I am happy. It is a completely different type of emotional eating than you usually hear about. If I could be fat and happy it would not matter, but that is just not possible. I can always be happier... and being healthier is the key to that.
So here begins my journey to become a fit and fabulous bride. Please join me, laugh with me, encourage me. If I have to answer to someone, well then maybe I will succeed.
This up-hill battle begins with 40 lbs.
About two weeks ago I became engaged. I bought a bridal magazine. I thought about how I would look in all of those gorgeous dresses and wanted to cry. I thought about how the "skinny once" would have looked in them... ugh.
I have been on the more normal or thin side most of my life. We could debate which is worse- to battle a life long battle with your weight, or suddenly realize that your friends and family are staring at your ass and thinking, "where did THAT come from?" I think that my noticeable weight gain is in direct relation to my engagement. Ryan absolutely loves and adores me no matter what weight I am. He has never made one comment about my weight, and when I start to whine about it, he seriously acts like he has no idea what I am talking about. Seriously! That is a reason I am going to marry him. I don't think that I have ever experienced that kind of love from a man- not sure I know what to do with it- besides get fatter and fatter.
The ring that Ryan proposed with is 140 years old. It was slightly too small, but I couldn't even get it on my finger because I had eaten chips, salsa, queso, fajitas and margaritas WITH salt the night before. Ry and I went out for a bite of food with his Mexican friend, Oliver. I guess this meant I needed to eat my own weight in fried, salty, delicious, food. "Skinnyonce Carrie" would not have gone this far. I would have pushed the chips away after a few bites- I would have stopped after the first margarita-I would have had just one fajita-I would have skipped the tortillas-and if I had eaten or drank a little too much, I would have been in the gym for hours to make up for it.
Once we became engaged, Ry and I drank a bottle of champagne and made a delicious dinner. Filet Mignon, brussel sprouts (with lots of bacon), potatoes and ice cream. I really know how to celebrate. And with all the amazing things that have gone on in my life I have learned how to indulge and celebrate and celebrate and celebrate. I am currently carrying around 40 lbs. of celebration right now. I guess I should be happy that I eat too much when I am happy. It is a completely different type of emotional eating than you usually hear about. If I could be fat and happy it would not matter, but that is just not possible. I can always be happier... and being healthier is the key to that.
So here begins my journey to become a fit and fabulous bride. Please join me, laugh with me, encourage me. If I have to answer to someone, well then maybe I will succeed.
This up-hill battle begins with 40 lbs.
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