Good Day

Well, as part of every Monday morning I get on the scale. It has been exactly two weeks since I started my new lifestyle... and .... I have lost Five Pounds! I am pretty excited. I feel great, thinner, and healthier. I am glad that I got such a great number this morning because it was a really rough weekend.

First of all, I still have not gotten into an exercise routine. I have been walking more, but I haven't been running or lifting weights or starting any kind of program. Hopefully this first 5 lb loss will get me motivated. I really want to start running and then get into more toning. This is the week! I can do it!

Secondly, I have figured out that I need to have a little bit of a "cheat" day to eat some sort of carbohydrates or I will turn into a raving lunatic. Just a little bit of bread or pasta or something once a week makes me feel 100% healthier. Last night I ate a french bread pizza. It was so delicious and I just needed to get some carbs. I don't think that at this point I am ready to splurge and eat anything sugary, but I need to eat some bread sometimes. The last two weeks I have only had carbs and sugars from vegetables and the occasional grapefruit. Oh- and I drank a couple of glasses of wine- but didn't over due it. But that pizza last night made me feel great. Next weekend I will eat something like that again. I need to learn how to live after all, while losing weight!

I had a really great evening with my Mom on Saturday too. We talked a lot about our eating habits and what works for us. She does the Weight Watchers plan. She really enjoys the meetings and sharing her successes and failures. I guess that is sort of what I am doing with this blog! I am super proud of how my Mom is learning to change and grow. I think while we were little she didn't really have the time to learn about herself, but now that my sisters and I are older she has gotten a chance to know herself... I think that is great and will definitely lead to her own healthy eating and lifestyle.

Not motivating at all was my first time ever trying on wedding dresses. We really went for my sister Bonnie who is getting married in November, however I had an appt. too- more for fun than anything else-
I tried on my first dress ever. It is one of those moments you look forward to as a little girl. It was pretty, not "the one" or anything, I came out and stood on the platform in front of the mirrors. I could tell by my Mom's face it wasn't her favorite. And then a member of my family-not my immediate-told me the dress made me look "thick." I felt like I had been punched right in the face. It really hurt my feelings and ruined the whole day for me. It was sort of my worst nightmare that started this blog in the first place. And it came true. I just have to move on from this, I know. But it made me seriously look at eloping. Being in front of all those people looking fat, well I just don't think I can have a wedding if I don't lose the weight. It isn't just about looking fat. It's about people thinking I have too much make up on, or that my bridesmaid dresses are ugly, or that the food is bad, or that the location is wrong. I just don't know if my skin is thick enough for a wedding. It's strange, because I don't really think that I am a sensitive person. But knowing that you have put yourself in the position for everyone to judge you - being a bride - is not something I necessarily feel comfortable with. I suppose I have more to work on then just my weight. Maybe it is how I view myself...