I never figured that I would be a blogger. Being single, child-free, and generally boring- what do I have to write about? Well, I have decided to write about how I was skinny once, and hope to be again.
About two weeks ago I became engaged. I bought a bridal magazine. I thought about how I would look in all of those gorgeous dresses and wanted to cry. I thought about how the "skinny once" would have looked in them... ugh.
I have been on the more normal or thin side most of my life. We could debate which is worse- to battle a life long battle with your weight, or suddenly realize that your friends and family are staring at your ass and thinking, "where did THAT come from?" I think that my noticeable weight gain is in direct relation to my engagement. Ryan absolutely loves and adores me no matter what weight I am. He has never made one comment about my weight, and when I start to whine about it, he seriously acts like he has no idea what I am talking about. Seriously! That is a reason I am going to marry him. I don't think that I have ever experienced that kind of love from a man- not sure I know what to do with it- besides get fatter and fatter.
The ring that Ryan proposed with is 140 years old. It was slightly too small, but I couldn't even get it on my finger because I had eaten chips, salsa, queso, fajitas and margaritas WITH salt the night before. Ry and I went out for a bite of food with his Mexican friend, Oliver. I guess this meant I needed to eat my own weight in fried, salty, delicious, food. "Skinnyonce Carrie" would not have gone this far. I would have pushed the chips away after a few bites- I would have stopped after the first margarita-I would have had just one fajita-I would have skipped the tortillas-and if I had eaten or drank a little too much, I would have been in the gym for hours to make up for it.
Once we became engaged, Ry and I drank a bottle of champagne and made a delicious dinner. Filet Mignon, brussel sprouts (with lots of bacon), potatoes and ice cream. I really know how to celebrate. And with all the amazing things that have gone on in my life I have learned how to indulge and celebrate and celebrate and celebrate. I am currently carrying around 40 lbs. of celebration right now. I guess I should be happy that I eat too much when I am happy. It is a completely different type of emotional eating than you usually hear about. If I could be fat and happy it would not matter, but that is just not possible. I can always be happier... and being healthier is the key to that.
So here begins my journey to become a fit and fabulous bride. Please join me, laugh with me, encourage me. If I have to answer to someone, well then maybe I will succeed.
This up-hill battle begins with 40 lbs.
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